Resolutions For Success

On the eve of the New Year, a new consciousness dawns on earth. So too a new consciousness dawns within you.

When the New Year dawns, we have to make ourselves conscious of this fact. This consciousness gives us the opportunity to transcend ourselves. We have to go beyond our present capacity and achievement.

One of the reasons I like the holiday season so much is that I’m taken out of my daily routine so I can set aside time to gather up the past year, and lay plans for the coming one.

I’m not alone. Every year millions of people embark on the yearend tradition of making a New Year’s resolution or two.

You may vow to lose 20 pounds or say that this is the year you are going to cut back on your drinking, quit smoking once and for all or get out of debt.
But will you?

Four out of five people won’t achieve their goals.

One survey listed the top three resolution categories in order of popularity:

• Start exercising and get fit—37%
• Eat better—13%
• Reduce alcohol and caffeine consumption or quit smoking—7%

Other popular New Year’s resolutions:

• Lose weight
• Manage debt or get out of debt
• Save money
• Get a better job
• Get a better education
• Reduce stress

Do you notice what all these resolutions have in common? At the most basic level, they’re too general.

While they are good starting points, for our subconscious mind to engage in keeping the resolution, it must be more specific and manageable.

Research shows that by the third week of January, many fail to live up to their stated resolutions. They give up and go back to their former lifestyle.

The good intentions that began the New Year end up being a start again on old habits.

Why Resolutions Don’t Stick

I’ve spent a lot of time seeking to understand why people—and that includes me—don’t do what they say they want to do.

For me the biggest thing that holds me back is fear. Look back over 2009 and see is that’s true for you. If it’s not reflect on what did hold you back.

1. Most people assume that it’s a fear that they could fail.

2. For me that’s a big one, but my experience tells me it’s a fear of success as well.

3. But the biggest fear is the FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN. We’re afraid of what will happen because we don’t know what lies ahead of us.

For me, most of my life I was afraid of the unknown. I felt I always needed someone to hold my hand. I wasn’t good enough to figure it out on my own.
I’m not suggesting for one moment that we don’t need trusted advisers and mentors. But I believed that I couldn’t trust my intuition to take me in the right direction, let alone find someone to trust.

But allowing fear to stop us from taking action is in reality an illusion. It can stop us from taking action, but it will not stop change from happening in our lives. Change is part of our existence.  The question then becomes do we want to be in charge of our life, or allow our life to be in charge of us.

4. Many times we set ourselves up for failure. We overindulge on New Year’s Eve and then set out on a stringent course the very next day.

We build up incredible expectations of ourselves and when we make the slightest slip we feel we have failed. We haven’t failed. We just set ourselves up for “failure.”  We must always remember that failures are the pillars of success.

I had such great expectations of myself that I became inwardly frozen while outwardly I was doing a lot—even too much.

5. In my studies, I’ve found in many cases the problem is that people don’t know what to do. There are so many options to choose from and so much information available we become confused as to what to do.

We hear from every corner that this “quick fix” or that one will solve all our problems so we don’t which way to go.

The truth is that there is no quick fix. And the only options that will work for us are the ones that are in tune with what we want to accomplish. Not necessarily what our mind tells us, but what our heart tell us.

6. We may also believe that we don’t have the determination or will power to stick with it. It’s too hard so we give up.

7. Sometimes we know what to do and we just don’t do it. We sit back passively and wait for something to happen. Then we complain and get frustrated because our fantasy doesn’t just materialize.

8. Then there are people who have a clear overall idea of what they want to do, but they often lack the step-by-step plan of how to go from where they are to where they want to go.

9. Or they may even have a plan, but haven’t figured out the steps in sufficient detail to know what works and what doesn’t so there is a lot of trial and error. And not to mention the frustration.

10. Often we believe that we lack available time, clear priorities or we have no one to be accountable to.

11. Also, for many years I had no idea of what changes I wanted to see in my life. I was running on autopilot, and the pilot wasn’t me.

I kept rationalizing that I didn’t have enough knowledge and experience to jump in. So I continued to struggle in my pain.

When I finally woke up, I tried so many different things to see if they would work. I was gradually moving forward in my life, but the path was like a big zigzag with some sliding back down the hill.

12. Then there was the feeling that I didn’t deserve success, that I wasn’t good enough so I sabotaged myself. It didn’t matter how good anyone else said I was I didn’t believe what people said because I didn’t believe in myself.

My Resolutions For 2010

I want to share my resolutions in the hope that they will inspire you to create some if you haven’t already and then to share them.

Not only in the coming year but for all time, I resolve to:

• Be clear each day as to why I am here on earth. My work is to aspire to build a better me while expanding my service to the world.
• Carefully choose only goals that fit into my life’s mission while keeping my priorities straight and clear.
• Maintain my focus and if I choose to change my focus be conscious of what I’m doing.
• Not waste time but to be conscious of living each moment as a creator of my destiny.
• Keep my promises to others and to myself. It’s much easier to be honest about breaking our promises to others than to breaking promises to ourselves.
• Come clean when I break my promises and make amends as necessary.
• Continually seek higher and deeper levels of understanding so I can move forward in my life.
• To live my life in joy and catch myself quicker when I indulge myself in self pity.

These are my umbrella resolutions and strategies which I will hold up as a mirror to every task that I do.

Progress Insights

I’ll share one of mine. A couple of months ago, I had a most profound learning experience. I realized that for most of my life I had been playing “victim”.

Sometimes it was subtle and sometimes not. I felt that I was not the creator of my destiny nor could I be.

My life was always in someone else’s hands. The best I could do is try to please someone so that they would hopefully take pity on me and throw me a few of their left over crumbs. My expectation was that if I pleased them they would fulfill my needs and expectations.

That barrier has now been broken forever. No one outside us can fulfill us. Fulfillment only comes from within. I now truly believe I am the author of my story and my destiny. I can and will now write my story with my heart in charge.

Aspiring to make progress in life is like learning to walk. When it’s time for a child to walk, she will keep at it no matter how many times she falls. Finally she is able to take a few faltering steps.

Do you think the child will give up? Never! You didn’t when you were learning to walk so what’s changed now.

You mastered learning how to walk. You kept practicing until you succeeded. So now is the time to move forward and not look back.

While a runner is running fast, if he looks back he will stumble. Similarly, if we are constantly looking behind at the year that we are leaving aside, we will think of our sorrow, misery, frustration, failure and so forth.

But if we look forward, we will see hope dawning deep within us.

For now I hope this blog post not only sparks you to take action, but puts you back on your feet so you can build muscles to move ahead and run towards your goals.

Please leave your comments below and let me know what you think.

Can you relate to any part of my story?

I’d be delighted too if you would share some of your own resolutions for the coming year.

And this is where I need your help.

Let me know what you think about the obstacles I’ve identified. Are any of them you?

Or what other obstacles are you facing in making 2010 the best year of your life?

By sharing our stories, we can create a community of support.

In fact the more you share, the more I can support you. With your help, I am launching the Change Program which will start later on in January.

It will help clarify your issues so you can build the muscles to face them, and create an action plan to master your challenges and create the results you desire.
So if you’re facing any challenges in 2010, I want to help you face them and transform them.

But more about mastery and transformation in my next blog post…

Yours in creating the life you were destined to live,

Joyce Friesen, Founder—The Novalis Integra Center

P.S. Please do not leave this article without paying it forward. We need to build a big echo that will inspire us all to dream big dreams and then to act on them.

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